1 Writers Heart



The Weekend

I don’t usually do this, but due to the nature of the poem, I feel there must be some sort of disclaimer for the reader.
It’s no secret that in the past I struggled with the thought of taking my own life. Thanks to many tear-filled prayers, a new outlook on life, and a renewed faith in Christ as my savior, I was able to overcome these feelings. However, sometimes it’s like expecting it will never rain again once a hurricane has passed. This is simply not the case. Bad days will still come, a negative thought may try to creep in, but the key is to know that the answer is never suicide and always Jesus!

This weekend I wanted to kill myself

It’s not the usual thing to do
But I was sick and tired like the flu
I was a Crayola in the box, feeling blue
Thinking: Everyone wants a piece of the pie or two

This weekend I wanted to kill myself

Because I couldn’t seem to get anything right
My mind was a battlefield in a constant fight
People’s comments were like birds that took flight
And made nests in my head, pulling me away from the light
Making me blind to everything but the negativity in sight

This weekend I wanted to kill myself

Because I couldn’t find one person to hear me out
I was a steaming teapot with nowhere to point my spout
Part of me considered a chemical blackout
Thinking a bottle of pills would do the trick, no doubt
Except I did, doubt, because I didn’t want to be a dropout
And so I went on to writing to hideout

This weekend I wanted to kill myself

Everyone seemed to have a complaint
Not good enough, you never have time, what’s wrong with your brain?
All their comments and teases were a runaway train
Aimed straight at my heart, call cardio I’ve got chest pain
It doesn’t matter what I do, my efforts are in vain
I’m about to fold, this poker face I can’t maintain
My vision is cloudy, I forecast a sobbing rain
And yet I feel, in all of this I’m the one to blame

This weekend I wanted to kill myself

Yea, it’s true
I know it’s not the usual thing for one to do
Good news is, the signal was weak and the message didn’t go through
So I’m here now, writing to you
We never know what a person is going through
Or what storms are stirring inside just by plain view
Maybe an act of your kindness is long overdue
Maybe that’s all they need to undo
Because we’ve got one life to live, no redos
This weekend I wrote this, and now I’m sharing with you.
What was your weekend like, what did you do?

logo aloneOneWritersHeart

Faux Real Love

Everybody wanna flaunt their versions of love
But when your Ace turns to an ex, a why or a “what was I thinking of?”
You begin to wonder if real love was ever the plan?
Looks like it failed the true or false exam
Illusions of being better make you bitter
Because you tried to paint silver linings with cheap glitter
Being with someone part time because it’s better than being alone
Those cheap stunts got you dethroned
Rather than royalty people make you their jester
For entertainment only, then they’re out before you confuse ‘em with an investor
Commitment is like a bucket hat, they’re both out of style
Love is whatever you can give or get here and now
Everybody wanna flaunt their love but is it real or a real good fake?
Counterfeit, cuz the real deal is too much too fast so they pull hard on the e-brake
People’s versions of love today is looking like a knockoff
Knock it off. So what if y’all hooked up. Mazel tov?
More like Molotov cocktail, short fuse, short-lived
That type of “love” is corrosive
What’s wrong with a little old school?
What’s wrong with waiting and a little woo?
What’s wrong with getting to know you?
With time and words, not a peek or a preview.
Everybody wanna show off their boo or their bae
When what they’re really showing is the flavor of the day
Love is a fruit, it should fill, not leave a void
Love is a voluntary action, you shouldn’t feel like you’re employed
Love goes beyond financial status or the things money can buy
It’s not just a rich girl or guy by your side parading you like a trophy wife because if that’s the plan then boy bye!
It’s a value so significant, real love makes you priceless
Far more than a dime or just being fine, real love recognizes you’re royalty…your highness
But everybody wanna put their love on display
Most of these, like your stories, vanish by the end of the day
Let’s call it Casper because when the tough gets going the love goes ghost
On the other hand, some just try too hard, you’re doing the most
True love takes time and lasts through good and bad times
It’s an uphill challenge but once you get a glimpse, you’ll know it was worth the climb
So go ahead and flaunt your passion and your sex appeal
Just make sure that the love you love isn’t faux real.


Ticking Time Bomb

Ticking time bomb is the heart
on the verge of an implosion
Bottomless barrel with a capacity limit
It’s just so deep no one knows it
Each beat is a beating against chest walls
Pounding for freedom, swollen from unwept woes
An array of masks cloak true identities, true feelings, unspoken truths
In an effort to share itself, the heart exposed inner vulnerabilities
But rather than value the gesture, others became its tormentors
Using the heart’s weaknesses as their strengths
So the heart begins to tick, and a tick becomes a pulse, a pulse a beat, a beat a pound, a pound a boom, and a boom a flat line
Ticking time bomb was the heart
but it’s too late, it already exploded


All done
Hair and makeup undone
But I’m done
Nope, this isn’t a dry run
Believe it or not, I’m all done
Washing machine after the clothes has spun
I’m done
Shooting out lines like a water gun
Ladies and gents I’m done
Perfectly imperfect little someone
I’m done
Carefully knitted together by The One
Who’s only just begun
Yet simultaneously all done
I’m not taking suggestions from anyone
And this is no competition
Made by God, loved by The Son
Don’t try to change me, I’m all done

World Mental Health Day

Not so fun facts (According to the World Health Organization):

  • More than 300 million people of all ages worldwide suffer from depression (and/or bipolar disorder).
  • Depression can lead to suicide. More than 800,000 people worldwide take their own lives each year, and even more attempt to do so.
  • In 2015 suicide was the 2nd leading cause of death amongst 15-29-year-olds globally.
  • More than 21 million people worldwide suffer from schizophrenia.

A diagnosis, a label, or a tag does not define a person. The above facts are not intended to shame anyone but to bring to light something very important: You are NOT alone.

There are very effective treatments for mental health issues, but often times we don’t seek them because we give into the lie that no one will understand. There are trained professionals willing to help.

Below is a 24/7 hotline from Suicide Prevention Lifeline if you are in the states and need someone to talk to:

1 (800) 273-8255

Lastly, I leave you with this thought: Even when it seems like everyone around has abandoned you, God has promised to never leave you nor forsake you. He loves you with an everlasting love and cares about you.

Casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you. 1 Peter 5:7



Viva, Por Trece Razones

Muchas personas quizás no sepan esto, pero en mi vida he tenido dos intentos fallidos de terminar con todo. Las razones que me llevaron a considerar esto no son tan importantes como las razones que me permitieron no llevarlo acabo. Con todo esto no quiero subestimar el porqué la gente lucha con depresión, ansiedad y la oscuridad que esto conlleva. Quiero resaltar el hecho de que no hay nada más grande que Dios. De experiencia propia he aprendido que hay más razones para vivir que para morir. Con los recientes suicidios en las noticias, la nueva moda de los retos suicidas y también el incremento de películas y series de televisión de este tema, he decidido compartir 13 razones por las cuales no debes quitarte la vida.

  1. Porque la vida es mucho más de lo que puedes pensar.
  2. Porque todavía tienes muchísimas cosas que alcanzar.
  3. Porque tu vida tiene demasiado valor.
  4. Porque tienes un propósito y no estás aquí por error.
  5. Porque sí puedes ser perdonado, Dios te ama más de lo que puedas imaginar.
  6. Porque eres irremplazable y nadie puede ocupar tu lugar.
  7. Porque todavía tienes que ver y vivir tantas cosas maravillosas que existen a tú alrededor.
  8. Porque has sobrevivido la vida hasta ahora y eres un luchador.
  9. Porque tus días oscuros muy pronto verán la luz ya que toda la noche tiene su amanecer.
  10. Porque aunque parezca imposible, vas a superar lo que estás viviendo y esto te va fortalecer.
  11. Porque tu pasado no te define, solo tienes que soltar.
  12. Porque tú importas y eres valioso para alguien, por favor déjate amar.
  13. Porque mientras el proceso sea doloroso y además muy real, Jesús dio su vida para salvar la tuya, darte esperanza y tu corazón sanar.

Existe ayuda, hay esperanza, y lo más importante de todo, es que no estás solo.

13 Reasons Why Not

Many people don’t know this, but in my life, I had two failed attempts at ending it all and have fought with the thoughts of trying again as recently as a year ago. The reasons that led me to consider it are not as important as the reasons why I didn’t follow through. While I am not downplaying the struggle with depression, anxiety, and the darkness that surrounds them, I do want to highlight the fact that they are not greater than God. I’ve come to learn firsthand that there are more reasons to live than to die, but with the recent suicides on the news, trending suicidal challenges and an increase in shows/movies on the topic, I decided to share 13 reasons why NOT to die:
1. Because there is more to life than what you’ve come to believe

2. Because you still have a lot more left to achieve

3. Because your life has value it has so much worth

4. Because you have yet to see and experience many amazing things on our wonderful earth

5. Because you’ve survived life up to this point and you’re a fighter

6. Because every night has a morning and your dark days will soon get brighter

7. Because you have purpose, you’re not here by mistake

8. Because while it may seem impossible, you’ll get over this heartbreak

9. Because your past doesn’t define you, you’ve just gotta let go

10. Because you CAN be forgiven, God loves you more than you’ll ever know

11. Because you matter to someone whether you believe it or not

12. Because you are irreplaceable and no one can take your spot

13. Because while your pain is excruciating and very much so real, Jesus gave His life to save yours, give you hope and your heart He wants to heal.

There is help, there is hope, and you most definitely are NOT alone.


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